14th May 2013
Link reblogged from Hypnotized by the words you say.... with 1,859 notes
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
I laugh reading the transcripts and then again when the court reporter mistypes something
24th April 2013
Photo reblogged from Hypnotized by the words you say.... with 80 notes
Leadenhall Market, London (by MathewDC)
A bit over a month and I’ll be here!!!
19th April 2013
Photoset reblogged from Hypnotized by the words you say.... with 340 notes
ohhhh fuck..he’s mad , come here baby <3
16th April 2013
Link reblogged from Anonymous with 29 notes
Everyday you all see many different celebrity photos and it seems like they have been caught in their private bubbles walking down the street near their houses or doing other casual things in their *private* life. It’s what you are supposed to think. But in reality it’s not like that at all..
12th April 2013
Link reblogged from Eternal Summer with 56 notes
Some of you have asked me to give my opinion on the latest PRsten. It took me a while to get round to it - as some of you know RL is a bit tough right now. But this may have been a good thing after all, given the latest “episodes” that have come out.
First off, Rob’s return to LA after…
5th April 2013
Photoset reblogged from Rob's Pretty Face with 866 notes
Said “oooo”. Out loud. Jeez.
30th March 2013
Photoset reblogged from Rob! that's all with 124,506 notes
Heike Mutter & Ulrich Genth - Tiger & Turtle (2011) - A walk-along “roller coaster”
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THE LOOP-DE-LOOP
DO YOU HAVE TO RUN AND DO YOUR BEST OR WHAT
This is actually not far from where I live…